Category: Self-Improvement, Psychology and Mindset

Behavioral researcher Vanessa Van Edwards, who runs the research lab Science of People, breaks down the psychological secrets behind feeling and looking more confident, competent and charismatic.

She explains how to apply these techniques to critical conversations around money, whether you’re negotiating your salary, buying a home or car, or arguing with your spouse about your household spending.

People who are liked tend to earn more money and enjoy more opportunities, Van Edwards says.

There are practical, quantifiable financial benefits to working on the soft skills of warmth, likeability and charisma.

In this episode, we cover:

• The distinction between encoding and decoding – and why it matters
• How subtle shifts in your body language can make a big impact in your ability to connect with others
• The key “warm” words to say whenever you’re opening a conversation, whether you’re talking to a boss, colleague, client, or neighbor
• How to handle your hands, especially if you find yourself awkwardly standing around at a networking event
• The “sound cues” and vocal inflections that can either boost your perceived competence – or that can subtly discredit your message
• The visual cues that make people notice you and want to conduct business with you

Enjoy!

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Imagine a line.

Cowardice exists at one extreme end of that line. Recklessness exists at the other extreme end.

And in the balanced middle, you’ll find courage.

Today’s conversation is about courage. We’re not talking about inspiring physical acts of bravery in this episode; rather, we’re discussing moral and social courage.

The type of courage you need to make an investment. Buy a rental property. Invest in stocks. Start a business or side hustle. Retire early. Travel overseas. Have a difficult but diplomatic conversation. Express your feelings constructively rather than bottling them up inside. Raise an issue with immediacy rather than hesitation. Break bad news to someone. Ask for help. Launch an initiative. Try something new. We’re talking about the type of courage that’s required to become a better, bigger person in your work, your relationships, your life.

We’re having this conversation with Ryan Holiday, the bestselling author of a series of books on Stoic philosophy.

Enjoy!

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Meet Kristen Berman, a top researcher in the field of behavioral economics. She’s the co-founder of Irrational Labs, which designs products that are evidence-based in the behavioral sciences.

Her co-founder, Dan Ariely, is the James B. Duke Professor of psychology and behavioral economics at Duke University, and one of the most famous behavioral economists in the world.

Here are some of the (counterintuitive!) ideas that Kristen shares:

Habits are overrated. Automate instead.
Budgeting doesn’t change your spending behavior.
Commit in advance.
Forget about the outcome.
Focus on the process.
You need accountability.
Think about the Three B’s: behavior, barriers and benefits.

Tune into this episode to hear Kristen elaborate on these research-backed, evidence-based ideas about how to improve our spending, saving and investing habits.

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Have you ever spent years studying the wrong major, climbing the ladder at the wrong company, chasing the wrong career?

Have you spent years living in the wrong city? Wrong relationship? Wrong lifestyle?

It’s hard to discern what *we think we want* from what we really want.

Society teaches us what we’re “supposed” to want. And we follow along.

The result is keeping up with the Joneses. It’s the hedonic treadmill. It’s lifestyle inflation. And it causes conflict, both within ourselves and with others.

Today’s guest, Luke Burgis, discusses mimetic desire — how our “wants” are imitative — and how we can find our deeper truths.

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Four thousand weeks.

That’s how long we live if we’re lucky enough to celebrate our 80th birthday.

Crazy, isn’t it?

We rarely think of our lifespan in terms of weeks. When we do, it seems painfully short. And that’s the point that Oliver Burkeman, author of Four Thousand Weeks, wants to drive home.

Oliver, author of The Antidote: Happiness for People who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking and Help! How to Become Slightly Happier and Get a Bit More Done,  is a self-professed time management geek.

But after reading scores of books, he concluded that most time management tactics result in an illusion of productivity. They don’t get to the root of why we feel the need to be time wizards. They don’t tell us how to overcome FOMO. They don’t mention the importance of relaxation or play.

Instead, most advice furthers the false narrative that we can do it all and have it all. This narrative leads us to endlessly spin our wheels. Just one more task, just one more project…only to have five more take its place by the end of the week.

If this sounds familiar (and exhausting), then Oliver has a different perspective to offer.

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What did you learn from 2020? 

That question carries a lot of weight, doesn’t it? 

Collectively, all of us experienced an unprecedented year. In March 2020, the world changed overnight. 

Working from home became the norm. The market shot up and down and up again. Bitcoin skyrocketed. Housing prices held at unfathomable highs. We saw a global reckoning around social justice. 

Needless to say, our internal and external worlds experienced rapid shifts. We may still feel ungrounded.

And now we’re dealing with the aftermath, asking questions such as, “What do I really want out of life? How can I form a plan when there’s still so much uncertainty?”

The answer: become nimble. Embrace flexibility. 

At least, that’s the conclusion Brad Barrett and Jonathan Mendonsa reach during this interview.

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Do you tend to see things as they are?

Or do you tend to see what you want to see?

To cut to the chase: how important is it to seek truth and honesty? Especially if it means the possibility of compromising your existing beliefs and ideas about the world?

If you’re unsure, or if these questions have you thinking, “Whoa, I need more caffeine before going down a philosophical rabbit hole…”, today’s episode has you covered. (Just grab your beverage of choice beforehand.)

Julia Galef, author of The Scout Mindset and host of the long-running Rationally Speaking podcast, explains the difference between the soldier mindset (see what you want to see) and the scout mindset (seeing things as they are).

She explains why we often default to the soldier mindset of defending ideas we desperately want to believe, and reviews several thought exercises that we can use to instead train our brains to scout for the truth.

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