“I want an iPad!”
“I want a pony!”
“I want to take my family out for a $100 dinner, followed by $60 for a set of four movie tickets, $20 for popcorn and sodas, and $75 to fill up the gas-guzzling SUV that I bought on credit. And it’s SO HARD to save money! How can I possibly prepare for retirement?”
*****
Let’s curb the madness.
There’s one little secret to a happy life.
One that doesn’t require spending crazy money on shiny toys.
(Actually, it’s not a secret at all. It’s an approach everyone knows about … but many overlook.)
It’s simple:
Gratitude.
Practicing gratitude is more effective than deprivation, discipline, willpower, couponing, or any other money-saving tactic out there.
Let’s remind ourselves of a few truths:
- You have electricity.
- You have clean running water that comes directly from a tap.
- You have access to the internet.
Those three things, right there, are mind-blowing.
Millions of people don’t have those. You do.
You are so, so lucky.
Can we sit with that for a moment?
[I’ll wait.]
Okay, let’s keep going:
- You have friends.
- You have laughter.
- You have the ability to make mistakes and still be okay.
Man, I’m liking this.
Let’s try a few more:
- We invented airplanes!
- We made air travel accessible to middle-class people.
Traveling across the U.S. used to happen in a covered wagon. It involved snakebites and dysentery and a high probability that you might die while fording a river.
(Yes, I grew up in the Oregon Trail generation. And yes, I still play the old-school DOS version from 1990.)
Aren’t you tickled by the idea that you can hop on an airplane, watch a movie, take a nap, and the worst part of the entire experience is that you got a middle seat?!
I’m impressed with our species.
Oh, and guess what else?
- We landed on the moon.
- We’re going to Mars!
I can’t believe that in my lifetime (assuming I’m lucky enough to reach my senior years), I’m going to watch the first human walk on another planet. Wow. Can you believe what our minds are capable of creating?
We’re part of the human race, and we live during an amazing point in history. Isn’t that wild?
I could’ve been born as a turtle, but instead I got a neocortex. That’s pretty rad. 🙂
Back to Earth …
- We speak English. This is incredibly helpful for harnessing learning and work opportunities.
- We can read. According to UNESCO, 781 million adults over the age of 15 cannot. Two-thirds of the world’s illiterate are women.
These next two points apply to most, but not all, Afford Anything readers:
- We live in a first-world nation.
Did you ever see the South Park episode where the characters tried to explain the concept of an “appetizer” to a starving child?
“Well, um … it’s food that you eat while you’re waiting for more food … “
- We live in a country without war or fighting on its soil.
I was born in Nepal, a country that experienced a bloody civil war from 1996 to 2006, resulting in more than 15,000 casualties (10,500 civilian casualties).
In 2005, our (now-former) king seized absolute power, putting every politician under house arrest. One year later, he imposed a curfew on the capital city where my aunts, uncles and cousins live, ordering that any civilian violating the curfew must be “shot on sight.” Medical workers couldn’t get to hospitals. Food supply dwindled and prices soared.
What a f**king mess.
Fortunately, I lived safely in Colorado at the time, working as an entry-level newspaper writer and complaining about the fact that I only earned $21,000 per year. Oh no! I can only afford a small studio apartment! Woe is me! Life is tough!
I love my first-world problems.
I’m amazed by the possibility that I may spend my entire life — cradle to grave — without ever involuntarily entering a war zone. And without experiencing firsthand the effects of hyperinflation, hunger, or massive infrastructure disruption.
What a gift.
Back to other gratitudes:
- We’re healthy.
- We live in a stable country.
- Pillows.
- Coffee.
- Peanut butter.
- Flip-flops.
- Minty fresh toothpaste.
- Stretching.
- We live in climate-controlled environments.
- We can live with pets, if we choose.
- Kittens exist.
- Puppies exist.
- We discovered fire, created the wheel, developed agriculture, and invented Snapchat.
- This.
Don’t succumb to a scarcity/deprivation mindset, fueled by advertising hell-bent on convincing you that life is devoid of meaning unless you can manage your thermostat through your smartphone.
Instead, focus on the ridiculous abundance that’s already around you.
You have so much already.
And when you internalize this idea, you’ll find that you naturally want to spend less.
You’re willing to save more.
And you’re better able to parlay those savings into self-sustaining investments, so you and your family can enjoy freedom and security for decades to come.
Gratitude and Giving
I feel like there’s a natural link between gratitude and giving.
So let’s chat for a moment about the idea behind giving (and how to give the smart way).
Here are three thoughts:
#1: Giving is more than writing a check.
You hold some unique talent, skill or gift.
Maybe you’re a great listener. Maybe you’re empathetic and soothing. Maybe you’re patient.
Maybe you’re excellent at teaching specific skills, like how to change a tire, troubleshoot a computer, or hem a pair of pants.
Maybe you’re inviting and welcoming. You’re fantastic at helping others feel accepted in a group.
Yes, nonprofits need money, but the world also needs patience, understanding, teaching, mentoring, high-quality resources, compassion, thoughtfulness, kindness and smiles.
#2: Pick your favorite form.
If you ARE going to write a check, there are three types of recipients:
- Large organizations with Big Ambitious Goals (e.g., finding cures, protecting wilderness).
- Small organizations with a local focus (e.g., schools, animal shelters, low-cost health clinics).
- Microgiving.
Large: If you’re interested in giving to a large organizations, check out the group’s efficacy on a website like Charity Navigator, where you can compare multiple organizations that pursue the same goal or cause. The Wildlife Conservation Network, for example, scores 99 out of 100. (And you should see how adorable those animals are. Awww.)
Small: If you prefer local organizations, form a face-to-face relationship with the people who run these groups and with the communities they serve. Attend their events; create a person-to-person understanding of their impact on your local area.
Micro: Microgiving is broadly defined as focusing your resources on one specific person, family, or animal. Rather than pursuing a Big Ambitious Goal — like finding a cure — you’re targeting your impact on a precise recipient.
Benefits to this approach:
- There’s minimal administrative overhead (usually around 9 percent, including cuts for both website management and credit card processing).
- The total amount collected is much smaller — for example, $5,000 for one family — so you’ll be able to see tangible, measurable results from your specific donation. That’s pretty darn satisfying.
Two examples:
- After the San Bernardino shootings, more than 1,000 people collectively raised over $100,000 for the victims’ families (who are dealing with loss of income, funeral expenses, medical costs, etc.)
- This woman’s wheelchair was stolen, and donors raised $2,500 to buy a new one. (That’s fantastic, but it also raises the question: who the F$&# steals someone’s wheelchair?!?!)
Microgiving could happen in two forms:
- You hear about a specific person/family/animal — e.g. a friend-of-a-friend — who needs help. You send them an anonymous donation, such as a grocery store gift card.
- You facilitate a donation through a microgiving website, like GoFundMe or Microgiving. To support the arts community, check out Patreon.
Note: Donations to personal campaigns are considered gifts and are not tax-deductible.
Donations to 501(c)(3) nonprofits are tax-deductible. Not sure what’s what? GoFundMe displays a Certified Charity badge on nonprofit pages. (Or check out Charity Navigator, which shows rankings and reports from tax-deductible organizations.)
#3: The Afford Anything community is creating amazing things.
Several months ago, I started asking new email subscribers to hit “reply” and email me their biggest dreams, plus the obstacles standing in their way.
I’ve read hundreds of personal stories, incredible goals, and heartbreaking roadblocks. And I’ve noticed that many readers talk about wanting to give back.
- Some focus creating a legacy — “I want to make sure my family will be okay, even if I’m gone.”
- Some have specific ideas — “I want to create a sustainable off-grid eco-community.”
- Some have a sense that they want to do something, but they’re not sure what, how, or when.
- Some are involved with community groups or nonprofits, and they want to see their results grow.
Regardless of where you are within that journey, I’m proud of you — all of you — for your incredible heart and ambition.
This is truly one of the most amazing communities I’ve ever encountered, and I’m honored to be a member among us.
One Special Shout-Out
I want to give a shout-out to a few AA readers doing something cool:
Do you remember the giant earthquake that struck Nepal on April 25?
The earthquake killed 10,000 people and injured 23,000 more. It also devastated roads, hospitals, clinics and schools. The total damage represents 25% of the nation’s GDP.
(And Nepal wasn’t doing well to begin with. Talk about getting kicked when you’re down.)
An estimated 24,000 classrooms were damaged or destroyed in the quake. That’s a huge concern, given that 36 percent of adults in Nepal are illiterate (24 percent of men and 47 percent of women).
A few Afford Anything readers in Oregon are rebuilding a school located in Solukhumbu, Nepal, a Himalayan village near the epicenter of the earthquake, where 40 percent of homes were “fully destroyed.”
They’re working through the Nepali Association of Oregon, a tax-exempt charitable group. I like their approach of targeting one specific school, so the results will be tangible.
If you’re interested in supporting a school rebuilding, check them out.
Smile Through the Madness
Finally, I’d like to leave a note for every Afford Anything reader in a tough spot right now:
Many people in this community are in a good position in life. I’ve heard from hundreds of people who are trying to elevate from “good” to “great.”
But some readers are in dire straits.
I get emails from readers who tell me they’re stressed out about paying their electric bill.
If you’re in the latter camp, please remember a few things:
(1) Life will get better. This trouble is temporary.
(2) You live amidst abundant opportunities. Pick ONE opportunity to earn extra income on the side, and dedicate your time off work to pursuing this. Yes, you will need to work “in the margins” of life — 30 minutes every morning, 60 minutes every evening — but you have the power to create this time. Live your power.
(3) You can contribute to the world in many, many non-monetary ways. Staying positive is a gift.
Keep smiling. Stay strong. And look ahead to an amazing 2016 and beyond.
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awesome. post. Something I needed to read.
A great reminder. I love the holidays, but after a whirlwind of materialism over the last several days it’s easy to lose perspective and focus on what really matters (as trite as that sounds).
I want a Tesla Model S))
And I want to travel the whole world! And go to the Moon and Mars))
Wonderful post. Before I go to bed every night I make a mental list of things I’m grateful for that day. It truly brings joy into life!
Not only a good message, but a fun game to play as well, which is even better with some historical perspective.
Look at the clothes you’re wearing right now. They’re probably machine-made, nearly all clothing is nowadays. Look how fine and even the weave is. The colors might be amazingly bright, and will not fade. Such fabrics would have been a marvel to people just a couple of centuries ago.
Do you have a thumb drive? (And never mind how amazing those are; gigabytes of memory just dangling from your keychain) Go on any computer, yours or the library’s, and visit Project Gutenberg. You can download most of the world’s great books, free. Other sites, including Amazon, have free offerings. You can carry the equivalent of the Great Library of Alexandria around in your pocket. In Thomas Jefferson’s day, a personal library was the treasured privilege of the wealthy.
It’s very easy to get caught up in life and forget how good we have it. Good reminder Paula!
Paula,
That was an epic post ! Gratitude and positive affirmations can really change one’s outlook on life. I’m one of the members trying to elevate from good to great. I can empathize with those who are struggling and are desperate to change their circumstances.Been down that road before and I know how hard it is.
I’m grateful I found this awesome community ! Let’s all make 2016 our best year ever !
Here is one of my favorite quotes and one I truly believe in :
“Live Simply So Others May Simply Live,” Gandhi
Beautiful post, Paula!! Happy New Year to you!
I learned a few years ago that materialism would not fix my unsatisfying life. We are living in a place where we are marketed to believe self-worth or consumption is the answer. I will feel better because I have the latest and greatest iPhone. I will feel better when I have more of this or that. I am unhappy because I don’t have this or that. Ultimately I realized I was living a good life yet striving for a greater life through consumption. That never gave me more than anxiety as I compared myself to others.
I feel more satisfied in my life right now owning less and giving more to things that matter to me. I love this post as it embodies mt thoughts on being grateful and mindful.
Amazing post! Entertaining and funny. I love the abundance mindset, great reminder of how to end or kick off the year. Thanks!
Wow! It was either the anticipation of the upcoming New Year or just opening this email and reading through it’s entirety…..and find it so comforting to relate to something so BIG – gratitude! Thank you….thank you….thank you, this message made my day!
This is one of the best posts I’ve read all year. We are so lucky, blessed, or whatever you want to call it, and we have so much to be grateful for. I love the idea of loving my first world problems. I want to think of them in those terms more. And that is wonderful to hear some of your readers are rebuilding in Nepal!
Awesome post! About two years ago I started taking time every day to remind myself of the things that I am grateful for. It has had a PROFOUND impact on my attitude and approach to life. I am just so much more positive now than I ever was before. Gratitude is powerful!
Thank you for such a wonderful post! I’ve been enjoying your content for a few years now and I am psyched about the progress I’ve made with cranking up my savings rate in 2015 (several times closing in on 50% of my take home income!)… just came back from a trip to my home country of Nigeria and in addition to having a great time I’m even more thankful than ever about the many blessings in my life! Ready to take my side-gig virtual energy healing practice to full-time in 2016 so the world travels can continue- thanks again!
You wrote: “I get emails from readers who tell me they’re stressed out about paying their electric bill. If you’re in the latter camp, please remember a few things:”
A couple of decades ago, when I was first out of the Navy, I had a huge problem finding work. I was renting (half) a duplex, and running through what money I had left VERY fast! My mom helped out when she could, but as a recent widow, she was also in tight straits. Then came an electric bill from hell — it turned out, later, to have been an *estimated* bill that actually ended up covering two months worth of power! — and someone mentioned in passing that the local food bank would pay an electric bill if you were about to lose power. (I had never considered the food bank; totally middle-class rearing, never thought of it!)
Called to make an appt, and the woman was SO kind and so gentle; ‘of course they could help me, come in tomorrow’ … and I hung up and cried for an hour. The next day I went in, and they paid the bill and also gave me food (!)… And I left and cried (with relief) for another hour. We forget, we independent-types, we so used to doing it on our own types, that people love to help!
LET them! It’s not a ‘bad mark’ against you — and you can ‘pay it forward’ at some future time. The whole reason people give and help and support others (more-so by choice, by their own giving, than by govt taxes, which is forced {frown}) is because it pleases them to help. Just as you help when you can, allow them to help when you need some help!
Fantastic post, Paula! Gratitude and giving – the most important key to curb materialism and to spread happiness all around.
I loved this post! It was very inspirational and brought things in perspective! Great ideas!!
I love your blog, and I read it religiously (after discovering your Ari BnB vs Rent article). Then I saw this post and got even more excited because it says you are from Nepal.
An old high-school friend of mine and his sister (Andy and Katy Fischer-Price (yes, THAT Fischer)) support an organization called “Classrooms in the Clouds” that is helping Nepalese kids get back to school after the earthquake. A shoutout on your mailing list would be tremendous for this organization. Check them out! http://classroomsintheclouds.org/index.php/about-us/our-beginnings
Happy New Year 🙂
Hi Drew –
Scott Fischer’s children?! That’s incredible. I’m happy they’ve taken on this project! Please give them my regards.
I’ve picked three organizations that I’ll be supporting in 2016: two that support rebuilding in Nepal, and one that supports wildlife conservation. I’ll be concentrating my support behind these three groups, for maximum impact.
There are a ton of fantastic groups that are doing great things in the world. I’m thrilled to be able to concentrate my efforts on a few of these groups, and make as much of an impact as I can for them. And I’m happy knowing that beyond me, there are also many more people doing many more amazing things.
“Practicing gratitude is more effective than deprivation, discipline, willpower, couponing, or any other money-saving tactic out there.” This line really resonated with me. I am truly grateful that my parents came to Canada to provide themselves and my sister and I, a great life.
2015 was a very turbulent and volatile, yet life changing year for me. I am stronger now for having gone through it and am ready for whatever challenges or successes 2016 will bring.
Awesome post Paula! it is always so easy to forget about what we already have 🙂
Thanks for the reminder!
I am grateful for this post. Thank you for all you do.
This is one of the best posts I’ve read in a long time. Thank you for writing it – this type of stuff doesn’t get written about enough!
Thank you Lindsay! 🙂
Paula,
This is a beautiful article. I experience this same attitude often when talking to people about personal finance. It’s amazing to me how many people making an average income are consumed my worry and feel they have been dealt a bad financial hand in life. When I point out the fact that they live richer more abundant lives than 99% of the people who ever lived I see the eyes glaze over and a few seconds later “yeah, but I don’t have the money for a new iPhone, I can’t take any vacations and thanks to my student loans I cant afford marble counter tops!” OK, maybe a bit of an exaggeration…but you get the point. 😉
Most of us reading these blogs have such abundance in comparison to the world, just maybe not in comparison to our neighborhood. Too bad we are so hardwired to get our baseline from our immediate surroundings. It creates such misery for so many.
Thanks for writing this, and stay awesome!
🙂
Thank you, Happy Philosopher! 🙂 🙂
Gratitude is an awesome thing. It has been shown to even make us feel better physically by releasing hormones and stuff. Thanks for the great reminder. One other thing I notice when feeling grateful is that life is just so simple. There are so many things around us trying to complicate our lives, which usually involve spending more money.
Sometimes it’s a good idea to compare our lives to those who have so much less than us than comparing ourselves to celebrities.
Thank you Paula for this great epiphany. I’ve been focused on scarcity and raising my FICO score after a bankruptcy. How damn TRIVIAL is that!?! I now SEE “the ridiculous abundance that’s already around me” and will “embrace my first world problems.”
Hi Rita –
You have food, water, shelter, and safety, in a world where millions of people don’t. Keep reminding yourself of that fact, everyday. 🙂 Happy new year!
I love this post Paula! I definitely need to remember to take the time to be grateful for what I have and where I am more often instead of always wanting more. Wanting more can be a good thing, but only to a point. Thanks for the reminder!
What a beautiful and timely post! It really does help to keep things in perspective this time of year. When I’m feeling negative and pessimistic, I try to take a moment and focus on all the blessings in my life. The effects of doing this are immediate and powerful.
What a great post! It was very timely for me. Having a recent passing in the family has taught me to be much more grateful for each day we have on this earth, with so many blessings in North America.
Great to read this! It’s true, gratitude and giving really “work” to put things in a better perspective. Thanks!
This is far more than a post about financial matters…it’s a philosophy of life, Paula! I love it and the little surprise of those adorable puppies. I hope you’re okay if I ‘lift’ your list of gratitudes for my blog or FB, with attribution to you. Happy New Year!
This is something we all need a reminder of, and though I’m not fond of new year’s resolutions as a whole, if we could all live this more completely in 2016, there would definitely be a noticeable change in the world. Thanks for the post.
Very well said! Makes me realize how grateful I am for the things I have.
I was unhappy that I did not have shoes till the time I saw someone who did not have feet.
More than 21,000 people die everyday because of hunger, we all definitely have a lot to be thankful for.
Awesome post! Definitely puts things into perspective. Fortunately, I’m a minimalist, full-time traveler so even if I don’t consciously think of all the positive things you have listed here, I remain always grateful for the small things in life… and the thought of changing my thermostat with my smartphone never, ever, ever crosses my mind (partially because I don’t own a phone at all!)
Thanks for a good read 🙂
Great way to start the year off Paula. Thanks!
OMG… you just rocked my face off. How easy (and ridiculous) it is to forget how blessed we really are.
Great post! Over the past year I have really tried to be grateful for what I do have and find that I am happier. And when something does go wrong I often think #firstworldploblems and move on realizing that I am lucky to be where I am and most of my problems are minor compared to other people.
Found this site on a list of recommended personal finance blogs. Love this post; bookmarked it to read again later. If you make $21,000 per year, you’re in the top 3.2% of richest people in the world by income. Being grateful is great for your health. And giving back also rewards the giver.
Just stumbled on this blog today and glad I did for sure. It was on the top 48 real estate blogs to checkout….so that’s exactly what I did! I usually start each day with my daily affirmations and giving gratitude to the world we live in. It feels good being grateful and full of joy. This is a great way to start off the new year right and I believe it helps with business as well! Great stuff…look forward to checking out the other posts!
Welcome to the community, David! 🙂
Great insight on life and happiness. We often take the small things for granted and need to be thankful for what we have.
What a great post! Thank you for the reminder to incorporate thoughts and acts of gratitude every day.
Great Post. For 2017 and 2018 I already plan to start giving back. One big step I want to make is being involve in the Big Sister Little Sister program. So much other things I want to do but I am going to start giving gratitude for family and friends and just the little things in life. And trust me, I am so thankful for the little things, I get just a little too excited but the little things make life worth living.
That is a great article and you are a great writer! Gratefulness is the best state of mind I have experienced. I don’t need to be competitive to do good work. Thanks Paula 🙂
I just finished reading “The Soul of Money” by Lynn Twist. It’s awesome seeing the same ideas here: appreciating sufficiency grows happiness, gratitude is a cure for overspending, and avoiding the scarcity mindset improves your financial, emotional, personal, and professional life.
What a great post! It’s always a pleasure to read your writings =)
I currently don’t make so much money, yet for a long time I wanted to help make the world a better place, and like you mentioned, there are a LOT of ways to help, so I picked one way, out of the many options, which doesn’t evolve me giving money, but yes my time and enthusiasm to teach and so I volunteer with a youth organization that goes to schools and promote debates about sexual orientation, gender expression and identity and sexual anatomy. By making the kids debate about these issues, I notice that they get more informed and automatically more understanding towards LGBTI youth, thus, reducing school bullying that can lead to many suicides. It’s not like I’m helping a family out of starvation, even though I wish I could, but I feel I am creating a positive impact in the world.
Totally agree with being grateful for what we already have. It really does help keep things in perspective. I write at least 3 things I’m grateful for each day which helps me be even happier. Thanks Paula!
Your information is so different and leaves me feeling inspired by the possibilities. I’ve realized most goals I’ve reached in life were things I truly desired for myself and allowed myself to manifest. Consequently, anything I do not have yet (independent wealth) is a product of my failure to realize and acknowledge the abundance I already experience on a moment-by-moment basis. Your philosophy is refreshing and has come to me at the divinely appointed time. Thank you for sharing your experiences happily and openly. Thank you for all you do to lead others to live their best lives.
My best to you!
Angelia
After a fairly hectic and stressful day, this made me smile and was exactly what I needed to read. Listing peanut butter as something to be grateful for made me happy haha.
Gosh did I need this today! Thank you for your thoughtfulness, encouragement and your wicked ass humor!
Big hugs to you!!
Just wanted to say that was one of the very best emails I have ever received!! Thank you! Gratitude, something I think about daily. Even with all the struggles, we are so very Blessed! I’m at the bottom end of the spectrum after a divorce, but climbing back and have enjoyed reading your posts! Keep up the good work and God Bless!