What would you do if an authority figure told you to do something that felt wrong? Today’s episode dives into the surprising psychology behind why we often comply — even when our gut tells us not to.
Paula revisits one of her favorite interviews of the year with Dr. Sunita Sah, a physician-turned-professor at Cornell University who researches compliance, defiance, and how influence shapes our financial and ethical choices.
They explore:
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Why we trust authority figures even when it costs us
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The hidden social pressures that drive bad financial decisions
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How to strengthen your “defiance muscle” — and say no with confidence
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Why speaking up protects both your wallet and your well-being
If you’ve ever felt pressured by a financial advisor, boss, or salesperson, this conversation will help you make choices aligned with your values — not someone else’s agenda.
Key Takeaways
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Authority Bias Hurts Your Finances – We often comply with financial advisors, salespeople, or bosses to avoid seeming distrustful, even when our intuition says otherwise.
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Two Hidden Pressures: “Insinuation Anxiety” (fear of signaling distrust) and the “Sales Pitch Effect” (pressure to seem helpful) push us toward bad decisions.
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Defiance Is a Skill – Standing up to authority isn’t innate; it’s a learnable skill you can practice.
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The Power of the Pause – Creating distance before making a decision reduces pressure and leads to smarter financial choices.
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Quiet Defiance Works – Sometimes defying doesn’t mean confrontation; it means subtle, values-based resistance.
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Compliance Has a Cost – Saying yes too often drains energy, confidence, and integrity over time.
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Informed Consent for Money – Borrowed from medicine, this concept encourages truly understanding risks, alternatives, and having freedom to say no.
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Conscious Compliance – It’s okay to defer defiance temporarily when safety or livelihood is at stake — as long as it’s intentional, not habitual.
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Defiance Can Be Practiced – Recognize physical signs of discomfort, vocalize concerns, and move through the five stages of defiance to act with confidence.
Chapters
00:00 — Halloween update: Fed lowers interest rates and what it means for mortgages
00:46 — Enrollment extended for Your First Rental Property course
02:02 — Introducing Dr. Sunita Sah and the psychology of compliance
03:06 — The famous Yale shock experiment and why 65% complied
04:51 — How a financial advisor’s conflict of interest inspired Dr. Sah’s research
06:18 — The hidden pressures to agree — “insinuation anxiety” and the “sales pitch effect”
15:45 — Why we’re trained to obey — and how to unlearn it
18:36 — When defiance could save a life: nurses, pilots, and everyday moments
21:44 — How expectations shape career choices (and why many seek financial independence)
23:34 — Revisiting the Milgram experiment and what it reveals about human nature
37:15 — Practicing “quiet defiance” and the power of the pause
40:28 — How to make decisions privately — and why distance reduces compliance
44:11 — Gender differences in compliance and the pressure to say yes
47:13 — Why people don’t speak up at work (the “voice empathy gap”)
49:08 — The five elements of informed consent and freedom to say no
52:09 — Conscious compliance: when to defer defiance for safety or impact
55:21 — The high cost of compliance — emotional and ethical
58:22 — Whistleblowers, Rosa Parks, and the real price of saying no
1:02:05 — How to recognize tension as the first stage of defiance
1:04:27 — The five stages of defiance — from doubt to action
Check out our Financial Psychology collection here.
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