Afford Anything

Category: Self-Improvement, Psychology and Mindset

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#591: Harvard Negotiation Expert: Why Conflict Avoidance Costs You More Than You Think

Imagine you’re about to ask your boss for a raise. Your stomach tightens. You’ve rehearsed what to say, but doubt creeps in. Should you be more assertive? More understanding of company constraints?

Bob Bordone, who has taught negotiation for 25 years including 21 years at Harvard Law School, joins us to explain why you don’t have to choose between empathy and assertiveness. In fact, combining them is key to successful negotiations.

“It might feel like a tension, but it’s not an actual one,” Bordone explains. “I can fully appreciate what you’re feeling without ever giving anything up in a negotiation.”

Bordone breaks down his three-part preparation framework:
1. Mirror work: Identify the different sides of yourself in a negotiation — the empathic side that understands company constraints, the assertive side that knows you deserve recognition, and perhaps an anxious side worried about finances.
2. Chair work: Give each side a voice through role-playing exercises, literally sitting in different chairs to embody each perspective.
3. Table work: Bring these voices into the actual negotiation in an authentic way that doesn’t make the other person feel attacked.

He also introduces fascinating concepts like “conflict recognition” — how quickly we perceive something as a conflict — and “conflict holding” — our comfort with leaving conflicts unresolved. These differences often cause relationship problems when we’re unaware of them.

“My best friend and I might debate over Flaming Hot Cheetos for 25 minutes. For me, with high conflict recognition, it’s completely fun. I go home and sleep like a baby,” Bordone says. “For someone with low conflict recognition, they might think, ‘That was horrible. Did I hurt the relationship?'”

When someone tries to shut down your request with policy (“that’s just how we do things here”), Bordone recommends what he calls the “Wizard of Oz tactic” — asking a few more questions rather than immediately accepting defeat.

The skills you develop asking for a raise transfer to other challenging conversations — from family inheritance discussions to political disagreements with colleagues.

Bordone emphasizes that conflict isn’t something to avoid but rather a normal part of relationships. The question isn’t whether we’ll have conflict, but how we handle it when it inevitably arrives.

Want to hear the full conversation? Listen to the latest episode wherever you get your podcasts.

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#584: Sahil Bloom: Which of the Five Wealth Types Are You Neglecting?

Think about how you spend an average day. Would the 10-year-old version of yourself be impressed? What about the 90-year-old version?

These two powerful questions frame our conversation with Sahil Bloom, founder and managing partner of an early-stage venture fund with investments in over 60 startups and author of The Curiosity Chronicle, a newsletter that reaches more than a million readers worldwide.
Sahil shares the story of his own wake-up call. While living in California and earning massive money as a venture inventor, he had a drink with an old friend who asked how often he saw his parents. When Sahil answered “about once a year,” his friend asked how old they were. Learning they were in their mid-60s, his friend calculated: “So you’re going to see your parents 15 more times before they die,” assuming they’d live to about 80.
That gut-punch realization led to massive change. Within 45 days, Sahil had left his job, sold his house, and moved across the country to be closer to family.

This shift represents the core of Sahil’s philosophy about the five types of wealth:

1. Time wealth: Control over your calendar and priorities
2. Social wealth: Deep, meaningful connections with others
3. Mental wealth: Curiosity, purpose, and personal growth
4. Physical wealth: Health and vitality
5. Financial wealth: Traditional money and assets

Most of us focus exclusively on financial wealth because it’s easily measurable. But Sahil argues that true wealth encompasses all five domains, and we should intentionally invest in each one.

Sahil shares practical exercises for building each type of wealth:

– For time wealth, create an “energy calendar” by tracking which activities energize versus drain you
– For social wealth, map your relationships based on how healthy and frequent they are
– For purpose, ask yourself what your world (family, community, etc.) needs from you
– For physical wealth, focus on movement, nutrition, and recovery through simple practices
– For financial wealth, clearly define what “enough” looks like for you

These five domains aren’t meant to be balanced perfectly every day. Instead, Sahil suggests thinking in seasons — some periods might emphasize financial growth while others prioritize family time.

Sahil also discusses powerful concepts like goals versus anti-goals (what you’re unwilling to sacrifice to reach your goals) and “Memento Mori” — the ancient Roman practice of remembering one’s mortality to inspire present action.

The conversation ends with a reminder that “your life has seasons” just like the weather — you don’t expect to experience all four seasons in a single day, so don’t expect perfect balance in every area of life simultaneously.

For more from Sahil Bloom, find him on major social platforms or visit fivetypesofwealth.com.

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#562: The Secret Psychology of Successful Negotiators, with Matt Schultz

More than 90 percent of people who ask to get their credit card annual fee reduced are successful. Yet most people never ask.

Why? They assume the answer will be no.

Matt Schultz, the author of “Ask Questions, Save Money, Make More,” joins us to explain the psychology and tactics behind successful negotiation.

The key insight: companies want to keep your business. Banks, employers, and service providers invest in long-term relationships because it’s more profitable than constantly finding new customers.

This gives you more leverage than you might think.

For credit cards, Schultz points out that calling the retention department directly (rather than general customer service) often leads to better results. He shares his own experience of getting his $600 annual fee cut in half just by making a yearly call.

With mortgage negotiations, Schultz suggests getting quotes from 3-5 lenders on the same day, since rates change frequently. A quarter-point rate reduction on a $360,000 mortgage saves $20,000 over the life of the loan. The fees themselves can differ by $5,000 between lenders.

When it comes to workplace negotiations, Schultz recommends keeping a weekly log of your accomplishments. Note both your regular duties and times you went above and beyond. This creates a strong foundation for salary discussions.

The most effective negotiations frame requests as win-win scenarios. Instead of just asking for tuition reimbursement, explain how additional education will help you contribute more to the company. Rather than demanding a lower rent, offer to sign a longer lease that reduces the landlord’s vacancy risk.

Schultz emphasizes building relationships during negotiations. The person at the call center has likely dealt with angry customers all day. Being pleasant and making a human connection can lead to better outcomes.

The interview also covers negotiating with family members about money, choosing when to negotiate versus pay full price (like at charity shops or with small businesses), and how to time requests effectively.

The common thread: success comes from understanding the other party’s interests and finding ways to align them with your own.

This episode will show you how to save hundreds — or thousands — in your regular spending, simply by asking.

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#542: Are We All Financial Hypochondriacs? Why We Feel Broke, Even When Our Bank Accounts Are Full

Ever feel like you’re never doing enough with your money, even when your finances look good on paper? 

You’re not alone. 

Katie Gatti Tassin, host of the Money with Katie podcast, dives into a phenomenon called “money dysmorphia” in today’s interview.

She shares how she got flooded with responses when she asked her listeners about money dysmorphia. Folks with hefty savings and investments still worry they’re not doing enough. It’s like they’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Where does this come from? Katie points to a few culprits. Social media is an obvious scapegoat. But traditional media plays a role too. Think about all those TV shows where “normal” families live in massive houses and drive fancy cars. It skews our perception of what’s average.

Location matters too. Katie talks about how moving from Dallas to Fort Collins changed her spending habits. Different cities have different vibes and social norms around money.

The conversation takes an interesting turn when Katie shares her own experience buying a Porsche. She felt conflicted, worried her FIRE (Financial Independence, Retire Early) community would judge her. It highlights how even personal finance experts grapple with these issues.

They also touch on how the pandemic shook up financial priorities. When faced with uncertainty, some people realized saving for a far-off future might not be the only goal worth pursuing.

Katie and Paula discuss the importance of balance. It’s good to save, but not at the expense of living your life now. They suggest seeking out voices in the personal finance world to get a more rounded perspective.

Travel comes up as a way to gain financial perspective. Seeing how people live in other parts of the world can make you appreciate what you have or show you where your own country could improve.

Katie and Paula offer food for thought on how to navigate our complex relationship with money. It’s a conversation that might make you think differently about your own financial mindset.

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#528: The Stock Market is in Panic Mode and the Unemployment Rate Jumped – But Everything’s Fine

The Federal Reserve recently decided to hold interest rates steady, leading to significant shifts in the stock market. The Dow dropped over 850 points, and the NASDAQ entered correction territory, falling more than 10% from its peak.

But what do these numbers mean for you? We break down the latest jobs report, which shows a rise in unemployment to 4.3%, triggering a recession indicator known as the Sahm Rule. This isn’t just economic jargon; it affects real lives, impacting job security, investments, and financial planning.

We discuss potential ripple effects on various sectors, such as real estate, where interest rates influence housing affordability.

We also examine the technology sector’s volatility and how recent market corrections might influence tech stocks and the overall investment landscape.

Understanding this can help you make informed decisions about your investment portfolio.

Every First Friday of the month, we bring you our “First Friday Monthly Economic Report,” where we help you make sense of these trends.

We aim to make complex economic concepts accessible. Join us as we explore these pressing economic issues.

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#506: MadFientist: Life is Too Short to Wait for Someday

Today’s guest, Brandon Ganch, also known as the MadFientist, reached Financial Independence (FI) and quit his job as a software developer at 34. But then he faced a vexing question: what should he do with the rest of his life?

In this episode, Brandon shares his journey with FI, revealing the gap between the ideal life you envision on spreadsheets and the reality that unfolds. He talks about reaching FI sooner than planned, having more money than anticipated, and the adjustments he had to make to his lifestyle. It’s a refreshingly honest look at FI that goes beyond the numbers.

We also dive into the changing landscape of work and the impact of automation, artificial intelligence and machine learning. Brandon talks about what he would do differently if he were in his 20’s, and shares valuable insights on tools you can use to stay relevant and future-proof your career.

You’ll enjoy this if:

— You’re on the FI path and want to ensure your plans are flexible enough for life’s surprises.
— You’re curious about the unexpected realities of achieving FI.
— You’re concerned about automation impacting your job security.

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The Afford Anything Gen Z Beginner’s Guide to Money

Hey Gen Z friends,

Welcome to adulting and the world of personal finance! As Generation Z, you have the incredible advantage of time on your side when it comes to investing and reaching financial independence.

Leverage your youth as a time of opportunity and learning, thinking boldly about how to create the financial future you […]

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#483: Thriving in a High-Pressure World, with Jennifer Breheny Wallace

Competitive. Results oriented. Driven to be the very best.

These are a few ways to describe achievement culture.

Achievement culture can also be described as stressful, high pressure and unhealthy.

Yet, there is consistently the pressure – internally and externally – to make more money, be a better parent, spouse, friend, or employee. These burdens comes at a heavy cost to our well-being.

Jennifer Breheny Wallace, author of the New York Times Best Seller “Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic – and What We Can Do About It” shares with us how to manage our need for success AND how to avoid the toxic traps that can accompany obsession with success.

She offers insights into the consequences of this culture on individuals’ mental health, and overall well-being, while also discussing practical solutions to common challenges.

If you’ve ever felt the burn of trying to do it all, or if you just want a smarter way to navigate success without losing your sanity, the insights shared in this interview will help you develop a more fulfilling and balanced life.

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#480: Your Blueprint for Life’s Toughest Challenges, with Hal Elrod

The death of a sibling.

Being declared dead after a head-on collision with a drunk driver.

Suffering financially during the Great Recession.

CANCER.

Today’s guest, Hal Elrod, has battled all of these tough challenges.

His little sister passed away in his mother’s arms. Years later, Hal was hit by a drunk driver, broke 11 bones, declared dead, and once revived, learned that he might have to spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair. (He eventually regained his ability to walk.) And after that, he was slammed hard in the wallet during the Great Recession.

But he’s a fighter. He needed to develop practices to build his resilience.

So Hal created “The Miracle Morning,” a morning routine practice that gained massive popularity when he released it in 2012.

The six-step Miracle Morning routine is coined S.A.V.E.R.S. — silence, affirmations, visualization, exercise, reading, and scribing (writing).

The routine became wildly popular, in part due to its flexibility; Hal explains that time-crunched people can start this as a six-minute routine; dedicating just ONE minute to each of these six steps. Over time, people can see the positive changes that this makes, and expand the time they allot for this.

The routine is now the subject of a documentary, also called the Miracle Morning, available on Prime Video. Midway through filming, Hal was diagnosed with a rare form of leukemia and given a 30 percent chance of survival. He let the cameras roll as he coped with his diagnosis in real time.

He joins us on this podcast to describe that experience, and to talk about the practices that he’s used to stay productive in the face of grief, severe injury and cancer.

He talks to us about:
— the powerful Five-Minute Rule that helped him recover from a nearly fatal car crash
— the six most popular personal development practices of the successful
— specific tactics you can harness to create YOUR most successful life.

As we move into the New Year, many of you are setting goals and resolutions.

Hal describes specific, actionable tactics that you can use to build scaffolding and support around your new goals.

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