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Tag: prenups

February 14, 2025By Paula Pant

#582: The Marriage Contract You Never Saw (But Can’t Escape), with Harvard Law Alum Aaron Thomas

They had it all. Six thriving children. A 40-year marriage. A household income of $200,000.

Then in her 60s, she discovered a shocking truth: he had gambled away their entire retirement savings in penny stocks.

She had no access to their financial accounts during the marriage. After divorcing, she was left with nearly nothing. Today, she relies on her adult kids for support.

Harvard-trained family law attorney Aaron Thomas joins us for a Valentine’s Day discussion about prenuptial agreements — not just as divorce insurance, but as a framework for building stronger marriages.

Thomas is a three-time winner of Atlanta’s Best Divorce Attorney and a leading expert in family law. He’s the founder of prenups.com and authored The Prenup Prescription.

Thomas explains that every married couple already has a prenup by default: their state’s laws. In 41 states, judges have broad discretion in dividing assets “equitably” — which might mean a 70-30 split rather than 50-50. The remaining nine states are community property states, where assets are typically split equally.

But even in community property states, determining what qualifies as joint property can spark fierce debate. For example: if you entered marriage with $100,000 in a 401(k) and continued contributing during the marriage, how much belongs to you vs. the marriage? What about a home you owned before marriage, but your spouse helped pay the mortgage?

To prevent financial surprises, Thomas recommends couples hold “annual shareholder meetings” to review finances together. He suggests creating three buckets — yours, mine and ours — with clear agreements about spending. For example, his prenup requires both spouses to approve joint account purchases over $500.

Beyond asset division, prenups can include requirements like marriage counseling before filing for divorce, or mediation if custody disputes arise. While prenups can’t determine child custody or support payments, they can establish frameworks for working through conflict.

The biggest benefit, Thomas argues, isn’t protecting yourself in case of divorce — it’s creating clarity and communication during marriage. By having difficult conversations upfront about money, expectations and conflict resolution, couples build stronger foundations for lasting partnerships.

Listen to this episode to hear our full conversation about how prenups can strengthen marriages, prevent costly court battles, and help couples align on money management from day one.

Keep reading...

June 12, 2024By Paula Pant

#513: Bachelorette Star Jason Tartick: The Truth About Financial Infidelity

Jason Tartick, a former banker and TV star from The Bachelorette, discusses finances in relationships. He describes eight crucial questions about money that every couple should discuss.

When a couple is dating, but before they get serious, he says, each person should divulge their debt-to-income ratio. This is your monthly debt payments divided by your gross monthly income. Keeping this ratio below 30-40% is crucial for financial stability. Banks consider this when approving loans.

Couples still in the dating stage should also discuss their credit scores.

If you’re thinking about becoming serious with someone, you need to understand their history with debt, and their attitude towards debt, since you’ll likely be co-borrowing together if the relationship lasts.

A couple with a good credit score can save around $100,000 on a $300,000 mortgage over 30 years.

Couples should avoid shaming or blaming each other during these money conversations, he says. The goal is to understand each others’ financial attitudes, habits and history — not to point fingers or make judgments.

After marriage or lifetime commitment, Jason emphasizes the importance of having both individual and joint bank accounts. This allows each person to enjoy autonomy, while also contributing towards shared expenses. Regularly reviewing your net worth as a couple provides transparency and helps avoid misunderstandings.

He also talks about financial infidelity — what is it, and how can you spot it?

Finally, Jason encourages couples to discuss spending habits, in order to understand each others’ values and goals.

Here’s a great question to ask your boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse or partner: “If you had an unlimited budget, what’s the first thing you would you spend it on?”

The answer reveals the persons’ priorities.

Keep reading...

December 12, 2022By Paula Pant

#417: Ask Paula: Marriage and Money – What Are the Right Conversations?

Our first anonymous caller is getting married. What are the financial considerations the couple should be thinking through since there is a large income gap between them?

Our second anonymous caller is concerned about her ability to continue working due to major depression. Should she consider disability insurance?

Carly is an accidental landlord and would love […]

Keep reading...

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