Today’s guest is Mary Beth Storjohann, CFP®, Founder of Workable Wealth, and author of the book Work Your Wealth.
As I was reading through her book, one thing stuck out to me: the financial frenemies we all have, and how to deal with them in a constructive way.
What’s a financial frenemy? They’re the people in your life that are sabotaging your efforts to improve your net worth.
Sometimes they’re friends, sometimes they’re family, and other times, they might just be people that have no business asking about your financial situation in the first place.
Whoever they are, we’ve all known one at some point or another.
In fact, I bet one of these sounds familiar:
- The Entitled Frenemy: “Can you spot me? I’ll get you next time!”
- The Budget-Buster: “You deserve it, you should buy it!”
- The One-Upper: “You got a $1,000 bonus? Nice. I got a $10,000 bonus.”
- The Priers: “How much do you make?” “How much did you spend on that?”
- The Green-Eyed Monster: “Must be nice that you can afford such a big house.”
- The FOMO Frenemy: “You can spend your money just this once!”
Navigating conversations with these financial frenemies can be tough, but Mary Beth has some awesome advice on how to do it and not feel bad about your words.
Even though it might sound scary, honesty is the best policy.
While saying, “I don’t feel comfortable answering that” means enduring a few moments of awkwardness, the alternative is answering truthfully and proceeding to wonder if your “friends” are judging you…every single time you interact with them.
Finally, we need to realize that what they’re saying isn’t a reflection on us – it’s a reflection on them. If they’re jealous, feel the need to one-up you, or discourage you from your financial goals, that’s on them, not you.
Mary Beth offers other great tips on how to deal with financial frenemies in this episode, and we even role-played a scenario to give you a script to follow.
Resources Mentioned:
- Workable Wealth
- “Work Your Wealth” on Amazon
- Mary Beth’s Twitter & Instagram
Enjoy!
— Paula
Calvin
Oh my goodness I loved this episode. I had a cousin that would do almost all of these to me. He was basically a lifelong financial disaster case. His whole life he lived on the edge of ruin. He had an intimate relationship with pawn shops and payday loan centers. He borrowed money from just about everyone one he knew and just never paid it back. When he was asked to pay back money he would get mad and come up with other ways he has settled it through small insignificant favors that had nothing to do with the actual debt. I ultimately cut him off financially.
francisco
This is a great episode. My strategy with friends and family is simply this almost verbatim every time. I tell them that ” I do not mix business or money with friends or family. Reason being that the only argument we will have about business or money will be here and now and that will be the worst it gets.
skibumbum
The “How much do you make” question is tricky. I have many close and distant friends who have all spent our 20s and 30s together in a tiny town without many options for good jobs. I’m taken aback by how forward so many of them are by asking about my wage. They also love to ask what I paid for my house. There seems to be no boundaries from anyone (strangers too) on that topic.
I think in the case of my friends though, everyone is just curious to understand how we have all managed to “make it” this far. We all started out as ski bums earning next to nothing and loving our lives. 17 years later we’ve all changed quite a bit. We still ski, however!
That boobs comment that guy threw at Paula is SO awful, some dudes have no boundaries or respect. We have all encountered those guys. But you know, I’d never tell a stranger in a bar that i make 6 figures!! Holy cow, that can only bring trouble.
Maresa Davidson
I love this episode! I also hate these invasive questions. I read a line in one of Amy Tan’s books a few years back (can’t remember which one) and use it as often as possible “Please don’t worry about that on my account!” I have used it more than once. It’s a nice way to tell someone to back off.
Does it make me a bad person that I want to throat punch the guy with the boobs comment??
Doom Snake
My friends and I spot each other all the time. It’s not a big deal! Sometimes it comes back, sometimes it doesn’t. It keeps a comfortable flow going between situations.
Amanda
I lived in a country where the average monthly salary was about $400/month. As am engineer before this, I made more than that. I also lived in CA before moving there to volunteer (i.e. zero pay). At least once a week I was asked how much I made as a volunteer (zero, they pay for my home and food) and how much I made in the US. For the US, I told them an average salary for an engineer slung with the monthly rent that I paid to put it into perspective. When you tell someone you paid $1750 a month (which could buy a small apartment in this town), that seemed to satisfy their curiosity and give them a bit more perspective on why salaries are higher.