Jason Tartick, a former banker and TV star from The Bachelorette, discusses finances in relationships. He describes eight crucial questions about money that every couple should discuss.
When a couple is dating, but before they get serious, he says, each person should divulge their debt-to-income ratio. This is your monthly debt payments divided by your gross monthly income. Keeping this ratio below 30-40% is crucial for financial stability. Banks consider this when approving loans.
Couples still in the dating stage should also discuss their credit scores.
If you’re thinking about becoming serious with someone, you need to understand their history with debt, and their attitude towards debt, since you’ll likely be co-borrowing together if the relationship lasts.
A couple with a good credit score can save around $100,000 on a $300,000 mortgage over 30 years.
Couples should avoid shaming or blaming each other during these money conversations, he says. The goal is to understand each others’ financial attitudes, habits and history — not to point fingers or make judgments.
After marriage or lifetime commitment, Jason emphasizes the importance of having both individual and joint bank accounts. This allows each person to enjoy autonomy, while also contributing towards shared expenses. Regularly reviewing your net worth as a couple provides transparency and helps avoid misunderstandings.
He also talks about financial infidelity — what is it, and how can you spot it?
Finally, Jason encourages couples to discuss spending habits, in order to understand each others’ values and goals.
Here’s a great question to ask your boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse or partner: “If you had an unlimited budget, what’s the first thing you would you spend it on?”
The answer reveals the persons’ priorities.
