NYU Psychology Professor Dr. Tessa West has spent nearly two decades studying relationships, including those in the workplace. She talks about her research on why people feel disconnected from their jobs and what to do about it.
Dr. West breaks down five main ways people might feel unhappy at work:
- Crisis of identity: This is when you’ve poured a lot into your career, but you’re starting to question if it’s really who you are anymore.
- Drifting apart: This happens when your job changes, not you. Maybe your company’s gone through some big shifts, or your day-to-day tasks are different now. Or maybe your industry has totally changed.
- Stretched too thin: We’ve all been there – too much to do and not enough time.
- Runner up: Always close to that promotion or raise, but never quite getting there.
- Underappreciated star: You’re doing great work, but no one seems to notice.
Dr. West digs into each of these, explaining what they look like and why they happen. She talks about how work relationships are a lot like romantic relationships — just as you might feel disconnected from a partner, you can feel the same way about your job.
She describes a matrix that shows how satisfied you are with your job versus how much you identify with it.
She also gets practical stuff, describing how to manage distractions at work and be more productive. There’s a neat concept called “working spheres” that might help you organize your tasks better.
If you’re thinking about leaving your job, Dr. West suggests doing some self-reflection and networking to learn about other industries or companies. She warns that there’s often a lot of “hidden” stuff about jobs that you won’t find in the job description, so it’s essential to dig deeper.
At the end, she talks about how to figure out if a new job will actually be better. Her main tip? Ask tough questions in interviews. Don’t be afraid to dig into the not-so-great parts of the job or company.
Dr. West doesn’t sugarcoat the tough parts of work life, but she offers practical advice for dealing with them. Whether you’re happy in your job or thinking about a change, you’ll find something useful here.
Timestamps
Note: Timestamps will vary slightly on individual listening devices based on dynamic ad lengths.
1:09 – Dr. Tessa West. Psychology professor. Workplace relationships.
3:10 – Five major ways people feel disconnected from work.
4:55 – Work relationships mirroring other relationship types.
9:04 – “Crisis of identity” at work.
13:40 – Matrix: job satisfaction vs. identity centrality.
18:20 – “Drifting apart” from your career.
21:40 – Common changes causing career drift.
25:55 – “Stretched too thin” at work.
29:35 – Managing external work disruptions.
31:40 – “Working spheres” for better productivity.
37:37 – “Runner up” at work.
40:29 – Common reasons for not getting promoted.
47:51 – “Underappreciated star” at work.
51:18 – Next steps if unhappy at work.
55:56 – Determining if a new job will be better.
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